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I’m So Mediocre
Damn Dogs
Just because you’re a decent enough parent – does not necessarily translate into being a decent enough dog owner.
My children stay in their rooms and sleep through the night. We let them cry it out as babies to win that battle and eventually, the war was won.
The dogs? They sleep with us. While we had no trouble letting our 20 lb. children cry it out at night, something about two 3 lb. puppies whining through the night was more than we could stand.
Sure wish someone would have told us way back when that six pounds of darling puppy would turn into 40 pounds of obxious mutt. IN OUR BED.
How I long not to so readily identify with Gulliver when he was a prisoner of the Lilliputians. But that is the story of my nights. Pinned in. Trapped. A slave to the comfort of my damn dogs. My king-sized playground bed reduced to the mere width of an army cot.
Why is it that I have chosen to compromise the quality of my sleep for the full life-expectancy of these animals? Do you have any idea how many nights of good rest I have forfeited for these mangy mutts who sleep 20 hours a day??
This illustration is for Holly, Heidi and Marcy. (I told you I suck at drawing.)
My children don’t leave the house without telling me – or cross the street without looking both ways.
The dogs? They bolt out the front door and race for the busiest street they can find without looking back. Some days I’m tempted to let them just run. They have no idea how good they have it. Why the hurry to leave it all behind without a second glance?
But the state of my children’s hearts weigh too heavily on me – so each and every escape, I hasten to grab some cheese and jump in the car after them. Yes. Cheese. And yes, the car. That’s the only way to catch up with how far they get in mere moments and lure them to me.
And then what? They get rewarded for running away….
Damn dogs.
Life expectancy. 12-15 years. Five down…. seven to ten years to go.
Unless they get lost or hit by a car.
Got something to Say?
17 Responses to “Damn Dogs”
Now its Your Turn
OK, you are TOTALLY CRACKING ME UP HERE!!!
Alright, I totally second the you are TOTALLY CRACKING ME UP HERE statement!
We have to chase my parent’s dog down the same way….using the car (sans cheese). AUGH!
Melissas last blog post..Poetry…sweet poetry.
GENIUS. Besides the starring damn dogs, my favorite parts were the non-streaked hair and the not-wider phrases. Oh, and your handwriting is way neat.
Super funny to the point that I am almost (almost) rooting for the damn dogs.
HRHs last blog post..Come visit me…
Great post.
Feel your pain.
No more animals.
Queen Bs last blog post..Feast or Famine
Love-It… If you have a “good post!” button made, and email it to me, I will then turn around and award it to you.
That’s my lazy form of a compliment on your artwork
that girls last blog post..1×365 – Preschool Teacher
Love love love the drawings! And you’re a better woman than I. I would have ditched those dogs at the humane society when nobody was looking. Oops, they must have run away… Just kidding. Kinda.
Darcies last blog post..A Sad Reality
This was way funny until I saw the pictures. Then it was HILARIOUS! And so true — I totally think my kids are expected to be better behaved than my dog!
pixies last blog post..Moments of Mommy Madness
Hahahaha!
I think your artistry is just perfect!
And I can relate to the dog chase. (And so can the Termiex Man). But at least it results on blog-worthy material!
That was just too funny! I’m loving the drawings!
Annabelles last blog post..VBS…Day 2
Yeah, dog’s are more work than kids.
And kids? they are much work.
Btw, you are quite the artist
We are THAT familys last blog post..MEN’S WEEK: My Hubby’s Favorite Blog + Giveaway!
When we had our dog, I was regularly jumping in the car with the kids and chasing her down, too. Oh, I don’t miss those days. I feel your pain. The drawings absolutely cracked me up!
Michelle@Life with Threes last blog post..Be a Pot Luck Rock Star
Oh, how I identify with this! WHY THE HECK do dogs leave their comfy homes where they get everything their little hearts desire, to run wild on the street? I don’t get it!
Thanks for visiting my blog and your kind comments! =D
dysfunctional moms last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: 13 Gripes
Last summer we got a new dog…the old bed robber had to be put down. This time the wife is in on the raising,..and the dog WILL NOT sleep with us…until 5 or so in the morning, when I agree to become the stuffing in the oreo for no more than an hour!! Dh doesn’t care about the blankets the dog has stolen, until I try and roll over, and oh! heaven forbid the blanket move! oy-vey!!
karis last blog post..Preschool graduation
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…….
i think i just laughed out loud here at work. too funny….
however, it is oh so true what you write. we have a damn dog that sleep on our bed too. i would come home and find that my pillow has a donut shaped indentation on it with my cream pillow case covered in little black hairs…
We are one in the same with these damn mutts- I too had to load up in the car and go down the street this am in my pajamas calling after the Super Bandito that ran away- He will come get in the car cause he thinks he might be going somewhere- Oh well, I take joy in knowing that I am not alone!
Drama Mamas last blog post..BEST GHOST FEST ‘08!!
[...] introduction to my Damn Dogs, my terrible illustrations and the night I saved my dog’s [...]
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